drcpunk (drcpunk) wrote,
drcpunk
drcpunk

Team Tremontaine: Choice Real Estate

The challenge that interested me this week was to create a real estate ad. So, with much help from mneme (i. e., if you're laughing, he probably wrote that bit):

Two rooms in Riverside, unexpectedly vacated. Slight bloodstains, but right next to Three Dogs. Two flights up, reasonably steady. Floor is almost flat. Roof almost intact, dry except when it rains. Fully furnished, some clothing available, all on an as-in basis. Neighbors friendly or extra friendly for a modest fee. Several other eateries in semi-safe walking distance, one of which will deliver. Requires three months deposit, two months if you drop the names of the previous occupants. One month deposit if you can tell me where those bastards went.
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