drcpunk (drcpunk) wrote,

Seuss Strange and Norrell Doggerel

I loved the novel Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell, though I do understand why some people really, really don't. The Suess switch in my head flicked on, and, with mneme's help, I came up with a fair amount of doggerel. I haven't added anything to it since June, I think. It's behind the cut tag, if folks want to see it. I've not added identifiers for the speakers yet. Ideally, I'd like to cover the high points of the book, but without going on at great length.

Why did magic go away?
Can you say? Can you say?
Magic never went away --
I did some only yesterday.
We don't believe a word you say.
I shall prove my words are true.
Here is what we all shall do:
If I cannot perform my magic
I shall give it up --- How tragic!
But if I do my tricks for you
Then you must give up magic to.
I cannot! What shall I do?
These terms need not apply to you.
See these statues come to life
To tell their tales of death and strife.
Now that I have clearly won
Your days of magic now are done.
I shall go to London town
And there win magic great renown!
These parties bore me to the quick
I'll teach that magic is no trick.
She's dead who would have been my wife.
I will bring her back to life.
I cannot do this all alone.
I must use a fairy. Moan.
If I do this thing you ask
Will you give me other tasks
And credit too?
I will not!
For faeries I care not a jot.
If you give me half her life
She'll yet become Sir Walter's wife.
Agreed. Now with your wife to hand
I beg you let me serve our land.
Lady Pole, come dance with me
And all my kingdom you shall see.
Alas, my dearest lady's mad
For dancing now just makes her sad.
Stephen, I will make you king.
Sir, I pray do no such thing!
I prophesy the Raven King!
No more shall you do such a thing.
You must now leave London town.
I'll have no false magicians round.
I prophesy the Raven King!
I never heard of such a thing.
Arabella, be my wife!
Yes, but what shall be our life?
A magician, now, my dear, I'll be.
This I'll believe when I do see.
Another magician now appears.
This is the worst of all my fears.
To his studies Strange should look.
Pray how, when he has every book?
[An odius man!
I'm sure it's true
And yet, his eyes see none but you.]
Would you consent to be my student?
With great thanks. 'Tis only prudent.
'Tis good that we are not at strife.
And yet, I wish he had no wife.
I must go to help in war.
I could not bear that. Pray, what for?
Yet, with Strange gone, these books are yours.
Ah, well. We all must help in wars.
Sir Wellington, give me aught to do.
I have no use for such as you!
You make the generals think they know
What I should do, where I should go.
They know nothing! You know less!
Depart before you cause more mess!
What do soldiers need the most?
Good boots!
A bed!
Some cheese on toast!
Ask Wellington if he'd like a road
So nice and straight to bear the load
Of all his men.
Yes, that I do
And I shall find more tasks for you.


Since I returned to London Town
I cannot do as Norrell set down
*Alt: I fear I'll let my mentor down

[Yet I must speak out and write the truth
Whate're the cost and without ruth]

Norrell says the Raven King
Should be forgot in everything.
How can we say that magic's founder
Should be forgot? We all would founder.
*Alt: It is a wonder.
It is John Uskglass' work we do.
It's true! It's true. I know it, too.
The greatest magician -- so they say --
The greatest! But he went away!


By sea, I can, I dare suppose.
How else? He flies?
Ah, sir, who knows?
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